Add a little joy
to worm life.

Rearranges the workspace into an L, unlocks the second and third tradeable stocks and starts the contract chain toward the promotion.

Slimmer keys than the starter clacky board. One-way upgrade: there is no switching back.

Makes the intentionally awkward starter mouse easier to push around.

Extends the screen so you can watch several stock tickers at once.

Prints contracts and documents from its own screen, scans paper (place it face-down), and can print joke money once the right perk is unlocked.

Looks like a toy, works like a ladder: the practical route to the printer and the high shelf.

Required equipment for the promotion video call; can also film your interns.

Plays the human noises you will need for the interview. Memorize the buttons.

Brews coffee. A perk makes the stock market tick faster while you are caffeinated, and interns can be upgraded with a dousing.

Grabbed and shown to the webcam during the interview to prove you are a human with a life.

Keeps the smartphone alive so WormTok rewards keep arriving.

Home of the Financial Insight perk tree. Upgradeable to Comfy and Cozy tiers that raise the level cap.

Each reading level grants a perk point for the Financial Insight tree: better spreadsheet pay, 5% interest, market news on charts, and eventually printing cash.

Entry-level training gear for the Muscle Mass perk tree.

Mid-tier gym gear; unlocks deeper Muscle Mass perk tiers.

Top-tier training gear for the Muscle Mass tree.

Lets you drink water hands-free while wearing it — which is exactly what the A Thirsty, Thirsty Worm achievement asks for.

Cosmetic. Pairs well with pretending to be a human.

A spinning propeller cap. Reviewers singled it out as a favorite.

Cosmetic neckwear.

Cosmetic proof that you have money.

Roll it daily: a natural 20 earns Stroke of Luck, and either a Nat 20 or Nat 1 unlocks a keyboard skin reward. Dice also make excellent Ctrl-key paperweights.

Shows the time and plays multiple music channels, including lo-fi jazz and classical.

Physically accurate, in the words of one player. Excellent for wasting a coffee break.

Say hi and it counts: the A New Friend achievement is yours.

A little piece of home. Communing with it earns God I Love Dirt.

Scanning it unlocks a frog-themed cursor reward on the smartphone.

Plays a little rhythm when bopped.

Sleep duration sets tomorrow's buffs and debuffs. Watering the plant earns a smartphone reward.

Does tricks, absorbs abuse, and — when held up to the interview webcam — helps earn an S grade.

Ambient passive income, a couple of dollars at a pulse. Douse them in coffee or water to buff them permanently; fire them via spreadsheet; or throw one in the bin for Establish Dominance.